To Hit... or to Run.

never thought i'd be faced with the option of killing a person or saving myself.

Ive realized tonight that i don't just say I'm a selfish person.. i'm gonna ride or die that shit.

so i'm coming home after working bar shift at the restaurant. it was a relatively easy night so i found myself to be more relaxed and very less uptight. normally, on a crazy night it gets my anxiety going sky high and i find myself thinking of outrageous things, which usually leads me into a state of paranoia. tonight however, was different.  which screwed me.

my shift ended and i waited for my boss (which also happens to be my closest friend here in the big cit-ay) to be done so we could go have a drink and catch up. which we do. for a while. but i digress....

i'm on my drive home, relaxed carefree and jammin out to my spice girls remix. i always take the same route-- never any back roads, never any unlit streets and never... under any circumstance make eye contact.  there's one street however that is ALWAYS red when I get to it. and it's not flashing so i can't just drive through it--- which i've learned since being here,..

i approach the light (red as usual) and see three people crossing the street. Two women and a man (at least anatomically) and I approach very cautiously and slowly. They are making it across safely but as they're crossing my street their glance met mine....... the leader of the pack met my stare so intensely it immediately sent shivers up my spine. Her eyes followed mine the entirety of her endeavour but i broke it as soon as possible by looking at my phone for a quick glance. FYI- studies show when drivers look at their phones it takes 4.6 seconds.. so I'm assuming in that time she would have had enough seconds to get the eff across the street and forget about me but NOPE. She didn't.

She stopped, he stopped and the third she beast followed suit. They all came back to my car... HOW LONG IS THIS FRIGGIN RED LIGHT GONNA LAST?!?!??!  It is in that moment I decided, I don't care.. whoever gets hit when I turn left is gettin it.. and I had 911 already dialed (you all know how i feel about pedestrians and reporting incidents). Finally the light turned green before she could lunge at my vehicle but I've never felt so creeped or skeeved out ever...

Not a real funny story but holy balls did I almost need some depends....

A picture triggers too many words.

nothing really interesting has happened to be lately besides funneling at a family party. after partying at the most red neck spot i could find and joining the band for one hoorah. I dont know what it is about my alcohol intake and bands.. i just wanna get my Travis tritt on.. in a bad way.

speaking of bad. today i realized what my friend Scott is always telling me to do "think about what you're about to say.. then don't say it" and why i should actually do it.

it was early in the morning and a Monday. that equation always adds up to horrible small talk for me. i was standing in the break room at breakfast getting my hot water and oatmeal ready when i notice a white coffee mug on the counter. It was clearly a plain mug you can bring to a store and have a picture printed on. This one had Snooki's face.

Snooki was perfectly portrayed with her tanned skin, long dark locks and bright pink duck face, pouty lips pointed due north at the camera. Now the camera was positioned ever so "accidentally" to stare straight down her lady junks to the leopard bra. Come on now.. who the heck would want to drink coffee out of those sugar bags? Any how, I scanned the mug for ammo because I was shooting off rounds of judgement like nobody's business. Yippee, Ki Ya mother... well ya know. As I turned the mug I also saw a tan boy standing there with his shirt off on the beach. who would wear a t-shirt opened at the beach? Snooki's boyfriend. That's who. Why on God's green earth would anyone purposely put their mugs on a mug?

The owner of the mug walks in and it was totally unexpected. A nice simple looking woman, with wiry hair and bad glasses. She smelled of old musk and the inside of an old book. When I looked at her with a cunning grin and said "you're a jersey shore fan?" She looked at me oddly. I pointed to the mug "snooki and her boyfriend?" she just stared and then looked at me and laughed "oh, that show. no way!" So I asked her then very inquisitively.. "then why do you have her on your mug, that's an awful sight first thing"  Her final reply? Something about that being a picture of her children on a family vacation...

THAT'S the best picture you have of your children? take a picture of someone else's kids then, or a put a bag on theirs.