give a doc a bone.

well mom I've finally made you proud.. i found a doctor.

granted he's my chiropractor and he's married.. but that's the closest I've been to second base in a long time.. and he held me so tightly, it almost felt like he cared.

I'm built like an Orangutan apparently, with my uber high arches in my feet, my long masculine fingers (which I'd imagine are great for climbing trees and beating other monkeys up) and last but not least my strength is that of a pissed off Godzilla. All this information was founded at my initial visit today. He actually referred to me once as "monkey girl". I didn't mind because it was humorous and i thought to myself  "I can't wait to share this" after I eat a banana.

The bed he put me on was one I hadn't seen before, it was standing up right with a foot stool and you stand on it, then he presses a button and it lays you down slowly. However, it made me nervous as it looked similar to what Frankenstein was created on. He could feel my apprehension and answered honestly when I asked him if he was going to kill me. He said no (phew, really dodged a bullet there) and didn't skip a beat when I asked if he was Dr Jekyll.

After being laid out for a couple minutes he started to examine the rest of my hard bod.. allow me to state when i mention my "hard bod" i don't mean i'm fit by any means, i actually quite literaly mean my stone cold, stressed out body parts felt like concrete had been poured into some casper white flesh. this is the point of the visit when i started to think really inappropriately and was only wishing someone else could read my mind and make jokes with me. You cant really blame me though, if a good looking doctor man has his hands on you and says things like "you are so tight, its giving me a real hard time" you're going to giggle.

At the end of the visit I felt totally relaxed, completely limber and when he asked for my contact info you bet your sweet ass I didn't fake number him.